Thursday, March 22, 2012

10K Training - Checkin for March 21, 2012

What qualifies as an excuse, and what qualifies as an honest-to-God good reason?

The reason why I am asking is because I didn't run my 4 miles yesterday.

I didn't come by this decision lightly, far from it. I know all too well that although I had a great workout at Zumba again on Monday, I haven't actually ran since Saturday.

However. There always seems to be a however.

I didn't get enough sleep Sunday night. Or Monday night. Or Tuesday night. Or last night for that matter, but that's irrelevant. Yesterday I was operating on 5-6 hours of sleep - sometimes uninterrupted sometimes not - per night for the last three nights. And while lots of people can operate perfectly normally on that amount of sleep, I cannot. I fear for my sanity when I deem myself ready to have children - as the poor things would then have to put up with an underslept, overemotional, grumpy, half-nonfunctional me. But that's off topic.

An approximate explanation of how I felt last night after work was that I had two things keeping me going - caffeine and adrenaline. And if either of those things fell through, I would likely fall asleep on the spot. So could I have run the 4 miles? Possibly. But I would have had to push my adrenaline levels up higher - pump myself up with all the energy I could possibly muster. Even then, it would likely be a crappy workout and I would have to walk parts and end up mad and frustrated at myself and then all but pass out the moment I got home (and once again skip supper and just shower and go to bed).

Yet I found myself sitting in my car, humming and hawing. Should I try to run? Am I failure if I don't? Does this qualify as an excuse, or a justifiable reason? I didn't know.

It took me a solid hour to decide if I wanted to run. Finally I came to the conclusion not to. I still don't know if I made the right decision though. Based on the fact that my calves were sore today (from...?) and that we have 5 miles to run Friday and again on Sunday I'm guessing that I won't suffer too much from missing it... But. There's always the But. But I didn't do it. $%^&! I wish this was black and white. Do this, you will be able to do it. Don't, you won't. Do this, you will lose weight. Do this, you won't. I need a roadmap instead of all this fog.


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