Thursday, January 27, 2011

Sometimes I wonder...


… whether the torment is worth it.

I’ve noticed my weight loss in my face, definitely, and in my… mammories… Haha!

I haven’t noticed a significant change in my clothes however, and I haven’t lost many pounds.

Every day I eat either the white of a boiled egg or one package of oatmeal for breakfast. By 11AM by body is crying for food. That puts me between 50-150 calories for the morning. I try to keep my lunch small, 500 calories at the very most. Usually about 300. I’ll have an apple or an orange for a snack in the afternoon, and then go to Curves (or soon, the gym) for 30 minutes after work on week days. (I take the weekends off for exercising to give my muscles a chance to recuperate). Then I go home and have a small supper, limiting myself again so that I’m at no more than 1300 calories in a day.

I don’t get it. The weight should just be pouring off. Am I doing something wrong? Am I destined to stay this size forever? My primary goal is only 15 lbs away. There is no reason why I shouldn’t be able to do that. I want to be no more that 165 lbs on my wedding day. My secondary goal, which would be amazing, is to reach 140 lbs. I probably won’t do it by then but I want to try. I’m tired of being self conscious about my weight. I was a lot bigger before I started dieting (the first time), true, but I have a long way to go still.
I will be the skinny girl, damnit.

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